POETRY PEEK OF THE WEEK

I was able to speak with Micah today. It was great to hear his voice and be assured that he is fine. He is so great about always being upbeat and keeping positive. I am sure he does not always feel that way, but he tries to assure his mom that he is fine.
His quote for the week is:
"What started whole is down to shatter. You must start with nothing and become whole."
Next Wed. is Micahs' update hearing. It will be 3:00
Jesse make sure you wear a big red hat and carry a big red balloon so that people will know his brother is there.
Micah decided to share a poem with you all. He wanted me to be sure and tell you all that this is a rarity and only a little peek at how good his poetry is getting. I did tell him not to go back and destroy all his old poems. He just laughed and said that he is really getting better for sure. It has helped to have access to some good poetry and it has surely got him on a roll.
He is planning a novel now and already has the outline for that. His biggest problem right now is the fact that he has run out of pages in his notebook. He got the notebook when he was in juvy and they don't sell them in county. They only sell paper, and he prefers the notebook. I guess he will get used to the paper.
I am kind of hoping he will start writing bigger now that he has more access to paper. I don't know how much they charge for paper, but his crazy little writing is sure hard to make out. Anyway here is the poetry peek:

Shall we dance
with the moon, as the stars serenade us with Spanish love songs?
Shall we walk with the earth as the trees whisper
"kiss her"
so softly into my pale ear?
Or rather, my darling, let us sing de amor shining brightly for lovers to see
helping love entwine two young souls, two hearts in his everlasting tango.

YOGA

Micah has been doing yoga. He took yoga in school classes last year at school and has been practicing it once again. I'm pretty sure he is the only one in Coconino County jail practicing yoga, but I could be wrong. He has asked his dad to send him some workouts as well as some Tai Chi work outs.
One day last week he worked out two and a half hours in one day. When he calls me and they come on to tell me that I have a call from an inmate he always identifies himself as "Mr. Musculo". That is the name of a guy on a commercial here in Costa Rica, and it is pretty funny. Of course doing 2,000 push-ups a day I'm sure he is pretty much Mr. Musculo!
The news of the day is that Micahs' attorney will be meeting with the prosecutor and his boss on Monday. They will be discussing Micahs' sentence. That sounds so bizarre to me. "Hey guys you want to get together and maybe talk about this 18 year olds next five or ten years?" Like isn't that something that should really take lots of time, thought, pondering, getting to know the kid, his case etc?
I am obviously very biased, but I would surely suggest this for any kid they were discussing the fate of. Even the other two boys who are as I have mentioned at home enjoying the company of friends and family as I write.
Anyway we will know more after Monday, probably not much more than we can talk about, but maybe. Micah read me a great poem that he wrote about the Indian guy that he saw get hit and killed on highway 89 one night when I was bringing him home from work.
I had caught only a brief view of a tennis shoe flying through the air, but he saw the whole thing. Once we turned around and went back he went to see if he could help the poor guy dying in the street, and I went to help the poor girl that had hit him. It was pretty traumatic, and next thing I knew Micah was sitting on the curb holding his head in his hands and trying not to pass out! That is a Neumann thing the passing out.
He ended up being a witness, and was also a witness to a death there that night on Highway 89. His poem was great, and I told him I can see he remembered that night very well. He said "heck yeah I saw that guy get hit and killed, of course I remember that". I did remind him that he did not include the part about him almost passing out in the poem. Of course he just said Ha Ha!

WAITING FOR CALLS

I spend half the day looking forward to talking to Micah, and then I spend the rest wondering when he will call, then I just wonder if I told him to call today!
I must be losing it because I can't remember when I told him to call me. He is working on some more writings and I am looking forward to getting that first book of poetry put together for him. It will be awesome and I hope that lots of people get to enjoy his writings.

MUCHAS GRACIAS!!!!

Micah wants to say a huge thank you to all his friends and family that showed up for his hearing today!!!!
When I spoke with him tonight his first comment was, "they did not forget about me". He was just so thrilled that some friends he had not seen or heard from were there to support him. His hearing was forwarded to April 8th.
One of the boys has a new lawyer, so they have to give him a chance to get up to snuff. Or whatever he wants to do. Maybe catch up on all the "stories".
Micah of course is just ready to get out of coconino county, even if it means a new cell. Bordem is a great motivator to accept pleas I suspect.
It was good to talk to him and find him in good spirits. He said that he has to practice what he preaches. And we all have to keep smilin, even though it is obvious we are not the ones driving!

LONG AWAITED DAY?

Tomorrow is Micahs update hearing that has been forwarded for five months. He said the most thing he looks forward to is the van ride! And of course seeing his loved ones in the courtroom. He would like to thank all of you who continue to show up, even though it appears nothing is happening. I have been assured something is happening and will happen tomorrow.
He impressed on me that he is the one who has been waiving his right to a speedy trial, as well as putting up with the excuses and dragging out of the thing by the prosecution.
If I have learned anything from this experience it is to trust Micah and his attorney.She is sharp and is truly looking out for his good. We will see how tomorrow goes and in advance thank you to all who are able to attend and just let him see your face and feel your great juju vibes!
Coconino County was great when I called yesterday to check on my boy by the way! He did not call as scheduled on Sunday and I of course was worried. I called the jail and they assured me that he was fine and there were no problems with him or at the jail! Never can tell.

TWILIGHT OF THE IDOLS

Micah has been excited about reading a new book that the librarian has shared with him. Thank you whoever the kind librarian that even gives a care what my big hearted inmate reads! She found him a book of poetry and is bringing him some more books she thought he would be interested in.
The book he is into right now is "Twilight of the Idols" by Friedrich Nietzsche. In looking up the author I discovered he was 19th century German philosopher who wrote on religion, morality, culture, philosophy and science.
He was born Oct. 15th 1844 and died August 25th 1900. He was famous for his anti-God stance and his anti morality stance. Of course like lots of authors of that period he was not famous until he had died of senility.
I will include some of Micahs' favorite quotes from the book tomorrow when I am able to talk to him a little bit more.
Micah is now working out two and a half hours a day. He was supposed to do 2,000 push-ups today. I am anxious to see if he completed them or not. I am just glad he has been busy and trying to keep the mind from worrying about what is going to happen this week, or not happen.

UNBELIEVABLE

We finally heard from Micahs lawyer today. I am constantly amazed and upset by the other lawyers as well as the prosecution. She told us that she just received the other kids record of testimony yesterday. This is the same testimony that was made in October! Kind of understandable that Micah can be getting frustrated ha?

ONE WEEK COUNTDOWN

There is one week left until Micah's update hearing. Maybe! Unless like the last four it gets forwarded again. In which case he will continue in limbo while the other two boys walk free with friends and family. One of Micahs' friends saw one of the boys out hiking with friends. Thought they were on house arrest ha?
After speaking with Micah last night his biggest frustration at the moment is the uncertainty of the whole thing. He really wants to know what and where he will be for the next few months or years. That has him really stressed out.
He has requested a Thai Chi book from his Dad and is working out about two hours a day right now. Did 1700 push-ups yesterday and still going strong.
I told him that his sister and I were training for a marathon. He commented that if they would just open those doors and let him out he would run for at least 26 miles without stopping for anything. It will sure be a happy day when he is a free man again.
Today is the day to call the coconino county jail and try and track down the sixty dollars worth of books I had sent from Amazon that never arrived. Not sure why they did not get there, but it is sure frustrating to work with that system they have going on over there.

TOO MANY DAYS

I have been trying to have Micah call only twice a week. It doesn't work for me, I need to talk to him more than that. I guess I will have to go back to three times a week. I did not receive anymore writings from my boy this week so not much of his wisdom to share.
Just a shout out to all of his friends to enjoy spring break and I am glad that he has happy memories of his spring breaks the last two years in Costa Rica!

BROTHERS

Sorry to say Micah has lost a very consistant visitor! Happy to say I have one of my sons here in Costa Rica. I really needed it and am so glad Jake came to visit. I know Micah will miss his visits, or at least when he could beat Jaima to the punch and actually get a visit. I'm sure they will both remember the last one a couple of Sundays ago and cherish it for a very long time. The good part is now Micah can actually talk to Jake more since he can call him on our phone.
I have not been able to talk to Micah as much as I would like, it gets pretty expensive thanks to the companys that take over the phone lines and charge four bucks for every 15 miinutes. And that is for a local call, the long distance was fifty bucks for 15 minutes! That was why we got a area code to match the one where Micah is currently at.
I have not figured out how they managed to pull this scam on the people, but it is impossible to get an answer. One woman tried to talk to the phone service where her son was incarcerated and was told maybe they charged so much because the prisoners deserved it for whatever they did to get there in the first place.
So many people forget that prisoners are people doing their time for a crime, and sometimes with excessive sentences, we don't need to add to their pain and suffering anymore than they already have.

JAIL TIME PUSH-UPS

If you had all the time in the world, and could only spend so much time reading and writing, what else would you do with your time?
Micah has decided to get really buff. He did 1500 push-ups yesterday and 750 today. He does them in rounds throughout the day. I have been giving him additional personal trainer advice and hopefully he will start working some other muscles.
He is doing ab work and is developing a six pack for the first time ever.
He told his celly that he would have some news in two weeks. Then he realized he has been telling him that for the past three months. He is begining to feel like the boy who cried wolf. Today is the day marking 8 months in the county jail in Flagstaff for Micah. It is hard to believe that he has been incarcerated that long already. Hopefully there is a great deal coming from the prosecution soon.
We can only hope and pray.

NEW BOOK

I received two books in the mail today. They are true lifesavers and I truly wish I had had them sooner. The are both by an author Carol Kent. Her only son is serving a life sentence with no chance for parole for murder one.
The first book is When I Lay My Isaac Down, the second one is A New Kind of Normal. It was so nice to find someone that I could relate to. She knows the feelings of failure, regret, sadness, and just pure frustration that accompany a tale like Micahs.
I just kept shaking my head at the feelings she experienced which only a mother can relate to. Not my husband, nor any of the kids. They all have their own kind of grief over the whole thing, but only a mother can relate to a mother who has lost a son to the prison system.
I share this quote out of the first book:
"Life is very different than it was before. It's harder. More challenging. Agonizingly painful. But different in a good way too.
I've discovered the joy of simplicity. Jason's life is uncomplicated without the accumulation of "stuff," the pressures of career advancement, the exhausting drive to achieve status and to impress people.
I've learned that tears create a common ground with all classes of people. Pain is pain is pain is pain. Mothers who are hurting do not feel envious, spiteful, or resentful of other mothers who are hurting. Our shared heartache produces an instant connection not based on status, achievement, or income level."

All I can say to this is a huge AMEN

MEMORIES

We spent the weekend at Manual Antonio beach and I spent a lot of time thinking about Micah. There were quite a few young folks celebrating spring break. Two years ago Micah was living here in Costa Rica and spent spring break at the beach.

One of his friends families was coming down for spring break and invited Micah to spend the week hanging out with them. I think they invited him anyway :)

So Micah being the adventurer that he is hopped on the bus and because there was standing room only stood for the three and a half hour bus ride to the beach. Once there he took a taxi and found his friends and had a great week surfing and hanging out.

You can see why I could not help but think about Micah when I saw all those youngsters out there taking surf lessons and enjoying the sun and fun.

Soon hopefully soon.

FEEL GOOD

2009
I guess everybody feels down at one point or another. But when you start to feel down in jail, everything, every single thing, tumbles into your lap. Every bad aspect about the place floods your mind. The fact that tomorrow and the next day will be the same as today, that I'll still be in thes here cell with only men, talking about the same things, my mind will still run circles reminissin about all I'm missin; I'll still end the day by laying my head on my blanket, or "make-shift" pillow, pulling my sheet over my body. My toes will still be cold, I'll wake up to a cold cereal breakfast, now over 200 times in a row, and nothing will change. God help me. Yet through all these thoughts i must make it known I had a smile on my face, my mind soon drifts to a better place, reality will fade, for it's not the place I want to be living in and I will follow this routine until the day these people let me out of my cage doors, when I go free. Back to life, back to where I belong, It won't be long. Everything always turns out perfect in the end!

TATTOO

The one thing I told, asked, pleaded with Micah not to do in jail? Don't get a tattoo! Did he listen? Does he ever listen? Of course not. Now he has a big tattoo on his upper back. Now if you're like me you are wondering how the heck someone in jail gets a tattoo.
Well apparently it took him eight hours and a staple. Yes a staple. You know you can catch things doing things like that. His excuse was if his mom can get dreadlocks he can get a tattoo. Great excuse except he got the tattoo first!

LEMONADE

9/14/08
What if life gives you lemons and you just so happen to be allergic to lemon juice!? What then, do you make? Sometimes, though it may be very seldom, life may throw you something you can't wiggle out of!
I, however, have a wrinkle of how to deal with it: it all has to do with two simple syllables: mindset. When you are happy, without a obvious reason to be so, are the most crucial times in life.
Take a couple of deep breaths when you feel wroth, for problems will wittingly find you and wreath themselves around your happiness. But the thing about your happiness is that it is stronger than any obstacle, for it is all up to you and your mind therefore you're in complete control.
You don't have to woo happiness! It's in you all the time, push the problems from your mind and woolgather happy thoughts till the moon shines bright and silent snores fill your room.....ahem....cell.

SAD CALL

I am happy to say that Micah finally called last night and was bummed out. That may sound weird but I felt like he needed to finally let his guard down a bit and share how he was really feeling. His Dad told him that it is ok to be down once in awhile, especially in his circumstances. He seems to feel that he has to stay upbeat all the time.

When we visited him in Oct. I told him it was o.k. if he wanted to tell me how awful it was. I assured him he did not need to keep upbeat for me. He told me "for you? I am trying to stay upbeat for myself!"

He is even to the point of not taking it to trial just so that he can get to prison sooner and get out of county. There are advantages as well as disadvantages of prison. He is just ready to find out what is going to happen and not sit around wondering all the time what is going to happen to him.

I feel like the procecuting is prolonging his hearing for this very reason. The county of course does not want the expense and time of going to trial. If you wait in county long enough you will take just about anything to get out of there. He will be at the 8 month mark next week.

If any of you out there were thinking about writing letters, or cards this would be a good time to do it. He is having a pretty rough time of it right now. That call last night was the very first time in the past six months that he has called just out of the blue because he had had a rough day. Lots of prayers would be good right now also.

SPEAKING OF HAPPINESS

Micah:
When I write, or speak, about happiness, it's usually about how much it will improve your own life. How as long as you stay happy and smile all the while, life is that much better! Tonight I feel the need, pressed upon me by the frowning face and negativity seeping from across the cell, to tell you yet another aspect of the good that comes out of happiness: And it's happiness! (imagine that!) for when you refuse to let life get you down the positive vibes you have will be passed on to any and everybody around.
People feel it just as they will feel negativity, just as I feel the negative thoughts seeping out of this mans mind and scattering their sorrow all across the cell! But I'm fighting back! My happiness has armored up and battled his negativity out, in an INSTANT! Yet when he felt that he ran, escaped to the next, and only other, room.
This is the kind of person, or mood, we commonly refer to as "negative Nancy". Something about positivity kills them! And the only way to help them is to wait, invite them to open their minds, and with hope they will realize positivity feels better!
But for the rest of you to help, smile! Start the chain reaction! Be a real friend and as you take the frown from your face, take it from people around you....you can do it!