Great Article

I was just getting ready to do this post when Micah called. It was good to talk to him, as we missed our Monday call. He was doing well and seemed to be in a good mood. He was a little bummed because they moved his cell mate out. The worst part was they moved him in with his other friend, so now his two best buds are cellies without him. He will get by I'm sure and make new friends quickly, because that is just how Micah is :)

This paper was written by a friend of Micah's and she was able to put into words lots of feelings that all of us that know and love Micah have had at one time or another. I thank her for sharing and everyone else who shares their love and support at times. Thanks and pura vida!


Empty Spaces
Today the media has warped people’s brains into thinking prison or jail is where all these monstrous things go, not even thinking of inmates as human beings. People have this idea that if you are locked up you must have done something atrocious. For example, some may think of Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, or even Jeffrey Dahmer. These men would all be considered to be monstrous human beings for their actions. But do all inmates deserve to be thought of in that way? Some may think so, but what if that was your brother or sister? What people don’t realize is the reality of where these not monstrous, but actual human beings, come from. Many come from different backgrounds anywhere from being raised in a world of violence to the world of the wealthy. People can’t jump to quick conclusions about an inmate, or any one for that matter, without first seeing clearly about that person. No one can truly wrap their minds of how one feels having someone in a jail or prison. It’s like having a lion rip all your insides apart, chew them slowly, and then spit them back out at you. This reality hit me all too soon as my world came colliding with that of an inmates, and changed my whole outlook on life.
I never thought that one day I myself would be sitting at that shield of brokenness with my eyes glazed over as reality hit me. Never would I have imagined that this filthy square box, no more than 3 by 3 ft, with steel solemn gray walls on either side, that is engraved with graffiti writings, has a rugged circle they call a seat in the middle, and an inch of glass dividing these worlds, would become a place where these two worlds became one. Contemplating whether or not it was even sanitary to touch anything, my body became numb as I grasped the rugged phone in my hands. This space of emptiness takes hold of every inch of you like vines intertwining; sucking the life out of you. A sunken face on the other side trying to pour out every bit of light left in him, just to make it seem like he is ok.
I have always been blinded by the stories and media about this space of regret. In my eyes it was all a bunch of low life people who lived in this captive area where they didn’t get treated harsh enough. Never once did it cross my mind that one day a family friend from church and a best friend from school would cross paths and enter a situation they would both have to deal with day in and day out the rest of their lives. Both having to live and know that this past shame will haunt them like a ghost.
This place is a vast city of battered people trying to live with past regrets. If only visiting feels like a giant microscope watching your every movement I can’t even fathom being an inmate. Trapped in a box of rusting metal, an almost lifeless body lays on a brick of a bed surrounded by random souls all living with the pain of regretful choices. The outside universe spinning as time slowly passes by while in their space it’s frozen like a glacier. A mere inch, of a glass window, divides us by two different realities of vastness. It’s crushing how a simple inch of space can feel as though you are a million miles apart. The time was up and once again I had to drag myself out of the seat and float back into the world that keeps spinning. The dreaded lonely walk of hollowness over whelmed me; as I walked the long corridors of gloomy walls back to the light of day. The heavy sorrow of pain and remorse moved me to go on with my day and be thankful for what I have. Unless anyone has ever visited that space or actually lived in it, no one can come near comprehending the stabbing pain or sorrow it brings. I live day to day now searching for the happiness in every bad moment hoping that joy will come out of it. For now I live in the spinning world hurrying and trying to fit into this vast universe until I go back to sit in the same filthy box where this inch thick glass separates us. But, where for a moment the space of two worlds collide and freeze together.
How could in all my life it ever be possible that sitting in a gloomy jail talking with a best friend would ever mean so much to me and become such a major part in my life? To actually step out of this “real” world and dive into one that just seems to stand still. Where the smallest of things are the things that are missed the most. I couldn’t think of what it would be like to go without at least talking to my family every day, or receiving a simple warm hug from someone close to me. Even doing the things I hate the most like having to study hours on end just to get the “A” seems to be more fun now. It definitely puts a lot of things people take for granted into perspective. Having to live day to day trying to have a relationship with a person you can only pour out to on a piece of paper , having only fifteen minute phone calls before the little creaky voice comes on and tells you “times up”, and can only see through a window, is a reality no one should have to face. This entire situation has impacted my whole way of thinking. I used to be so closed minded and judgmental about anyone and everyone I saw whether it was an inmate or somebody just walking down the street. Now my eyes have been cleared of the blindness and I realize that why judge people when I have absolutely no idea who they are or what could be going on in their own lives. I can’t believe that it can take someone the harshest of situations to realize the “big picture”. All in all I now see the big picture and want to “pay it forward” to those who live in this world blind. My ultimate goal from this journey is to see things clearly and understand all the different perspectives of people. This heartbreaking situation has and will forever more keep changing me into a better person. Now the reality is you can’t jump to quick conclusions or perspectives about others without first removing the fog from your own eyes and seeing the crystal clear picture of how others may be living or suffering